So, Ryan and I hardly argue...not bragging, just a fact. BUT there is one thing that I have been stewing about for awhile and I just broke down last night! I had HAD.IT. I wish I didn't let things fester to the point that I am just pissed and bitchy, but I did it...and I feel bad...but I am still livid.
Let me preface this with Ryan is a great father and husband. I am very lucky to have him and life is good. When he is home he is very focused on us and the kids, and that is why this is bothering me so much.
Ryan has been traveling alot for over a year now. Last year it started when Hazel was only 9 weeks old. BUT this was a good move for him and his career and I completely support him and his career. His company was being acquired and he needed to really prove that he was a valuable employee which he has and continues to do.
Sometimes he is gone during the weekends...sometimes he comes home on Sunday around lunchtime (which I don't consider that being home on the weekend). I truly don't mind the weekday travel because I have my own routine and my work...the weekends are what get to me.
He had a turkey hunt that was planned that I was unsure of the actual date. Well, my friend and I FINALLY nailed down a date that she and I could get away for the weekend. It happened to be on the same date as his turkey hunt. I told him that I need to get away and his hunt will have to be canceled (I never tell him to do that). He did...
Yesterday he called to say it had been rescheduled for the end of May. I lost it...
Last night we sat down to discuss it and it didn't go well. I was so irritated that I was kinda being irrational...BUT...he wasn't seeing my side at all.
He thought that I was basically saying "I don't like you traveling for work"...I wasn't saying that at all. He said, "that's it...I'm not traveling for work anymore...I said when it became a problem at home I will stop".
What I am saying is that he kinda HAS to travel for work which is OK, but I think until Hagen is old enough to go with him hunting/fishing he needs to put his hunting/fishing on hold. I want him home! I feel alone! It kinda hurts my feelings when he IS traveling for work and on the side planning get aways with the guys.
Again, Ryan is pretty perfect when it comes to husbands. This is not a huge problem...we just do NOT see eye to eye on it and it is bringing me down...like way down...like on the verge of tears yesterday and today.
:(
Carrie
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I totally hear ya on this!! Robert and I have had the same argument. It wasn't until #4 was born that he finally put hunting/fishing on the back burner. And now he's starting back up. But guess what...he takes 1 or 2 kids! So hang in there... :)
ReplyDeleteThat's tough ... hoepfully you all can figure something out that is agreeable. It will be nice when Hagen is old enough to go to.
ReplyDeleteOh, girl! I feel you. My husband doesn't travel for work on a regular basis but he will go to classes, seminars, etc throughout the year..... I NEVER go anywhere! Once a year, he goes on a big hunting trip and gone for a week.... AGAIN, I never travel. It's a touchy subject for me. Hubby will also play softball at least once a year on a team and sometimes on two teams.... Spring and Fall. And he'll play basketball in the Winter sometimes. AGAIN, I'm home taking care of the boys.
ReplyDeleteI'm cool with being the primary caregiver but there are times when it gets to me. The traveling probably gets to me the most but I feel left out.... I feel like it's something that I don't get the privelege to do.
I'm like you in that I know I'm blessed to have a WONDERFUL husband and father. We don't argue and seldom really disagree..... I guess nothing can be "perfect". :) YOu'll work it out! Nothing wrong with getting upset over something as long as you handle it the right way. GOOD LUCK!! :) **hugs**
I completely understand you! My husband is so so good to me and the kids, but I got aggravated at him the other night for just going to a Mavs game. So dont feel bad. JOhn has to travel a lot for work (not as much as your hubby though.) I moved to Texas for him and sacraficed my job and friends. I went off because I feel I didnt move to Texas for him to go out with friends after work. I feel like the ol ball and chain but I cant help that it gets frustrating. Thinking about you.
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