It's been a dark and dreary night in the hizzy...

...ugh...sorry to vent but I have to do it...I'm in such a pissy mood and am so disappointed in myself and my son.

Let's start the story off by saying that Ryan is out of town...left early Monday morning and will return late on Wednesday night...leaving again on Friday morning and not returning until later Sunday. Hagen will be attending my holiday party for work (kids are invited) for the second year without my husband. It's OK, but I'm wondering if they think I am really married. I will then be going to another holiday party on Sunday with Hagen and without my husband. I wasn't bitter...after tonight I am VERY.BITTER.

I picked Hagen up from school. The teacher said that he had a great day, took a good nap, and was a good boy. Well, glad he was at school because I swear my kid is still there and I instead picked up Damian...no lie.

We get home and it was melt down before we even got out of the car. It was because he wanted muffins for a snack and I said it was too close to dinner so he could choose between and apple, orange, or raisins. He was not having it. He finally wanted an orange (those little cutie oranges).
I f'ed up and peeled the damn thing for him...he wants to do everything by himself nowadays...bad move on my part. He was livid...He picked out another and was pissed again because it would peel right. He was flipping around on the kitchen floor and I grabbed him pretty quickly and put him in my room...in the dark...we call it the crying/whining room. He was in there for 30 minutes SCREAMING! I went in there and told him it was time to settle down. He was trying to talk and couldn't catch his breath. We sat there for awhile. I was counting to 10...really it was about a million.

We were planning on meeting my Sister In Law and nephew for dinner...she was also a single mom tonight. I called her and said it would be over my dead body if I were to take him out in public. Plus he said he didn't want to go on a date so that was that.

Enter meltdown 2: He decided he DID want to go on a date. Fat chance my little pistol...that ship has sailed and you are eating frozen dinosaur chicken nuggets or meatballs...again, your choice.

We finally sat down to eat (with a damn apple) and I asked him why he is acting so naughty tonight. Poor baby said he misses Daddy. I wonder if it is because I was probably the meanest I have ever been to him...

I hate nights like this. I honestly felt so out of control. I had to count to myself SEVERAL times to calm down. He really doesn't melt down like this but when he does it is terrible.

At one time I was taking him to potty. I helped him take his pants off and saw his bare white butt and just wanted to spank it so bad...I refrained...ladies it was bad.

OK, I'm done...I want to say I feel better...but I really don't. Just want to go to bed.

Carrie

Christmas light looking!

Last night after dinner we were trying to think of something festive to do! It was 6:15ish and bath was in about 30 minutes. I'm a stickler for prompt bedtimes because I have to wake sweet warm baby up in the morning. I hate waking him up! It just seems wrong.

We decided even though it is not Christmas Eve we would go look at Christmas lights! I got a warm blanket and some warm cider in a sippy for little man and we piled in the car jamming out to The Chip monks Christmas CD. Yes, Ryan was about to throw himself out of the car. Me? I LOVE the CD! Love the chip monks! (I also love Gattitown....have I told you? And Sonic Ice Tea)

In my family the tradition was to go look at lights on Christmas eve right before bed to wear us out and make us go to bed so that the elves can get our loot ready!

I vividly remember my Dad (SO much like Clark Griswald) driving our brown benz (turd on wheels) around. Then BAM! BAM! you will never believe what happened. Yes, we were egged on Christmas Eve! Dad bolted out of the car to chase the perps in the dark...never did catch them.

Looking back I would have LOVED to have a hidden video in the car...it would be something like this:

Music in the background (oh the weather outside is frightful....)
Me: Oooo! That's my favorite
Mom: That is nice Carrie now rest your eyes little angel
Matt (my older butt hole, I mean brother): Can we go home yet?
Adam (my little twerp of a brother): Who farted? The windows are foggy
Dad: The next person who farts in this car I'm going to pull over and SPANK!
Mom: David, what do you want them to do...sew it up?
(BAM, CRACK, SPLAT)
Dad: Shit, what was that?!
Adam: Dad said shit...
Mom: Adam, knock it off
(kinda like the scene from A Christmas Story when Ralphie drops the F-Bomb)

Dad: We're going home...AND...you are all going to bed and not to be seen until 8:00AM (yes, we had a time we could not leave our rooms until...pretty smart!)

OK, so last night was not like that. But, we were enjoying it! Not as many lights out this year, but still so pretty! We were about 1/2 way done and Hagen decided he wanted to go home. What?! Bah humbug Mr. Hagen James...BAH HUMBUG. Ryan of course was like, "we're turning around right now my man! Thanks for the out!" Whatever, it was fun...at least I thought so.

Tata,
Carrie

Santa visit

So Hagen and I ventured out to Stonebriar Mall on Thursday for some cookies, shopping, and SANTA! Now Hagen did not know we were going to see HIM. On the way I told him that we may see Santa! I told him that I hoped to see him so that I can tell him what a good girl I've been and tell him what I want.

I looked in my rear view mirror to see tears welling up and lip quivering. He said, "Mama, you go first?" in the sweetest little voice ever. "Of course, I'll show you how it's done!"

He was very quiet the whole drive there and walking towards Santa's area. We got there and I let him peek at Santa to see that he is not some crazy person (as far as I know) and we were on our way to meet him. There was no line so we were up in no time!

I went first and make sure that Hagen could hear me. I said I was a good girl and I wanted a new TV and Merry Christmas! I smiled and faked getting a photo taken, kissed Santa on the cheek and went to get Hagen.

Hagen looked nervous but no crying. I sat him on Santa's lap and he rattled off, "I'm a good boy, I want a guitar and a scooter, Merry Christmas!" and then turned to the camera and looked spooked. No smiling, BUT no crying either!

He was SO proud of himself! You could just see the happiness in his heart. What a big boy!!

Tata!

Carrie

Recent updates

I have been MIA...sorry about that! Lots to post about, but we were having computer issues at home (83 viruses to be exact) so that was putting a damper on my posting! yes...83 viruses. Ryan had the nerve to say "maybe we (he means me) should watch some of the sites we are going to". Honey, I use the home computer to check email, post on my blog and that is about it. Maybe YOU should stop surfing porn and doing fantasy football...that may help! Gah!

My little man...he really is...he is this little short person that I am just Gaga over. He is so freaking cute! The things that come out of his mouth are priceless. Here are a couple for your reading pleasure:

Hagen: Daddy, what you doing?
Ryan: Making a shake! (protein shake...breakfast)
Hagen: I want a triangle!
Sweet baby thought he was making a SHAPE!

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Anytime Hagen is going potty...
Hagen: Get out! I don't want to get Poo Poo on you!
We have to shut the door and when he is done he says he wants to hear Old McDonald song. We started singing a song of his choice after he says he is done going. It will usually buy enough time for him to actually finish going...good trick!

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Ryan: Hagen, Kirby is watching you. Do you think he is going to tell Santa you are Naughty or Nice?
Hagen: Ninety

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Putting Hagen in his car seat to go to school
Hagen: Oh my Gosh...Oh my gosh...Oh my gosh
Mama: (thanking the lord he is saying gosh and not the lords name in vain) What's the matter Hagen?
Hagen: My Unnerware! My UNNERWARE!!
The crotch buckle thing had caught the back of his pants and pulled them down when I was putting him in his chair. He was bare butted in his seat.

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If I am not doing what he wants me to do he tells me:
Hagen : You be a good gurl mama...

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This little story is actually about mui. I received a gift last year as a joke and I actually love it! They are Mama sized zipper footie PJ's that are bright red with Sock Monkey's for the feet. LOVE.THEM.

I wore them Saturday night and was all cozy by the fire watching TV. The next morning I was still wearing them and was DYING for some Sonic Tea! it was already 10:30 for crying out loud.

I brushed my teeth, put my contacts in, and said screw it...I'm going in my Pj's. I've done it before...no biggie.

So I pull up, order my drink, put my credit card in the thingie and then the tornado came...it sucked the card out of my hand and it flew under my car. CRAP...what to do... The only thing to do was ignore the tons of cars and get out and pick it up. So I did that...but it wasn't just that easy...

You see, when the tornado came it took my card all the way under my car...in the middle. So instead of just bending over and picking it up, I was crawling under my car...in my bright red PJ's...at a busy Sonic. I'm just waiting for my photo to show up on a "Look at the white trash people of McKinney, TX" site...

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Last topic of the day...Hagen's Peanut's.

You may remember that he calls "it" his Peanuts...we don't mind...it's kinda cute.

When I picked Hagen up from school yesterday the teacher had told me they kept having to tell him to get his hands out of his pants. He had them in there all day long. They asked him if it hurt and he said, "no it tickles". What?! Oh lord...not ready...not ready...not ready...NO!

So Ryan had the man talk with him tonight and said to try to refrain or whatever he actually said. I'm hoping I have some more years before growdy boy stuff happens. I am FULLY aware that he is just checking things out, but it was such a glimpse into the future that kinda freaked me out!

AND, today was crazy hair day...again...and Hagen was the only one that got the memo...AGAIN. come on parents! Read your kids freaking papers! I don't get it...

Tata,
Carrie

Ornaments

When Ryan and I got married my Mom and Ryan's Mom took the opportunity to give us all the dust covered crap that they saved for us. "Mom, thank you so much for saving my mum from homecoming! I may just have to decorate my house with it!"

OK, so my Mom was actually very good at what she decided to save and what to toss and for the most part what she saved she kept in my old room in my closet which was very neatly organized.

Now Ryan's Mom? Not so much. Thank you so SOO so much for the old Trophies! Man, those are great! Especially the boy scout one...my favorite. OH, and not to outdo the trophies, but he HUGE albums with he sticky paper that has every.single.newspaper article that even mentioned Ryan's name that are overflowing, half sticking, and very yellow?! How can I EVER repay you for such a thoughtful gift? My heart over floweth...

I recently cleaned out the attic (yes, while I had strep and sinus infection...remember the steroid post) and came across all of the boxes from my MIL. I took the albums and gave them to Ryan with a beer and said, "Narrow it down or I am out..." OK, so not so bitchy...VERY close though. Hagen and I left him alone to fill his ego. I came back a bit later and would you believe that he narrowed it down to just over 10 articles! I was SO impressed. and the trophies? 1.ONE.UNO trophies!!

I saw in a design blog a cute way to display some important balls. no no ladies...not testicles, but baseballs! You see, my Ryan was VERY athletic and very good at Baseball and Football. He had about 6 baseballs that were important to him. I didn't want them in the little plastic thing that was meant to display them so I put them in an apothecary type jar that was clear. It sits on the bookshelf right next to his trophy and his first batting glove which is ADORABLE! I am so impressed with it!!

The one thing that my Mom did give me when I got married was all of my ornaments. My Mom use to buy me and my brothers an ornament every year...usually depicting what our interest was for the year. One of my favorites was a salt dough one of a little girl ice skating. I LOVE salt dough ornaments! So, when Hagen was born (she gave me my perfectly filled out baby book) I wanted to do the same for him. So I go to the same holiday bazaar every year and mainly for the salt dough couple! The first year was a baby's first Christmas thingie, last year was a little boy on a John Deere Tractor, and this year I was going for a Fireman theme. That old couple ditched! They skipped out and didn't show up this year. Crap...where do you find good quality salt dough ornaments? And NO I am not making one...I like the ones that are made for me.

Ryan said there was a holiday bazaar at his office building this morning so I told him that I would GREATLY appreciate him going to look and see if they have them. He sent me an email and said he found an ornament with a fire house and a hat and says "firefighter" on it and Hagen's name...I am so thankful that he went but am scared of what it will look like. I will keep it and use it as a good story even if it isn't cute...just telling Hagen that his daddy went to a bazaar to buy his ornament will be greatness!

OK, so this went WAY longer than I expected it to!

Ta ta,
Carrie

So thankful for my work

Today I went to meet Ryan at lunch. It was a longer lunch and I was planning on finishing up some work at home. I decided to head back to the office because I didn't have any of my work stuff with me. Plus, honestly I do get more done in the office. Hello...Dr. Phil is on at 3:00.

So I went back and got stuck on calls, meetings, etc. and was really getting alot done. Next thing I know it is 4:00 (which is the time I usually pick up little man) and I call Ryan and he said he was about to leave and would pick him up. I ended up not leaving until just after 5:00.

I dealt with rush hour traffic for the first time in 2 1/2 years...in the rain...it blew! I didn't get home until 6:00...Ryan was heating up leftovers from the night before and then it was bath and nite nite routine. I was so sad...sad for people that have to do this daily, sad for my brother and sister in law that do this everyday, just sad. Sad that there could be a day that I would have to work full-time again.

I was horrified at the thought of working while being a mom in the first place...that got better knowing that my son was in a good place, making lots of friends, and learning life lessons so that he doesn't get his butt kicked on the playground in Kindergarten. He is learning and LIKES his school. But, the thought of him being there for 10 hours a day CREEPS me out! It's the same feeling I had when I first started working and I'm sure it will be OK...just like it is now. You have to do what you have to do. People are blessed to become parents and sometimes have to make sacrifices to make ends meet.

I am blessed to be able to work and spend quality time with Hagen each day, I am blessed to be doing a job that I enjoy and feel good about (I get people jobs), I am blessed to be working for people that put their families first, I am blessed to have Hagen in a school that I trust and he likes, I am blessed to have a husband that works hard during the day to be home for dinner each night, I am blessed to have family time every day and just love on each other, I am blessed to have all of my immediate family within 20 minutes of where I live, I am blessed that I have a relationship with my parents that I can literally ask my parents for anything or any advise and they will bend over backwards to help or slap me in the face (verbally) with the truth...just blessed...and so thankful...for everything.

Nite,
Carrie

Well Hello there Kirby

Kirby is our Elf on the Shelf. I named him...Ryan did not approve, but it was already written in the book so it stuck.

To be honest, Kirby is a little jacked up looking...Hagen refers to Kirby as "she". I guess Kirby is a girl.

When we explained that Kirby goes to the North Pole when we are sleeping to report to Santa how we behaved for the day you could just see the wheels turning in his head. I told him that we can not touch Kirby because it makes his magical powers go away.

SO, when Hagen is not being good we tell him that Kirby is watching...he stops and stares at Kirby for a good 5 seconds and then immediately turns to us and says "hold me"...he's scared.

I think the funniest thing coming out of this is when we tell Hagen he needs to behave he tells us "I am being haved..." Cute boy...

When he looks for Kirby in the morning to see where he landed he kinda looks a bit spooked...this morning he was in Hagen's little tree in the family room (the main tree is in the entryway).

Is it wrong to have Kirby out all year?

Carrie